The Best Want to Get Better: Insights from Mental Performance Coach Gary Chupik

Gary Chupik is an international speaker, writer, and elite mindset coach. He works with high performers in sports, business, and leadership.

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Beyond the Standard Definition of Mindset

When I asked Gary to define mindset, he went deeper than the standard dictionary definition. Rather than saying "a set of beliefs that drive behavior," Gary offered his definition: “how we experience events, develop thoughts and feelings about them, choose our response, and ultimately form beliefs. In this definition, how we respond is where the magic happens.

Gary also added, “New and improved behaviors must result from a new and improved mindset.” As Andy McCay, the Seattle Mariners' mental performance coach, pointed out, mindset itself means little without new behaviors to back it up. It's circular. New behaviors create new experiences, which reinforce new beliefs, which strengthen the mindset.



The Elite Mindset as a Toolbox

When I asked Gary what separates an elite mindset from an ordinary one, he described it as a suite of skills assembled like a toolbox. Elite performers don't rely on one tool. They learn to select the right tool at the right time.

Gary used a phrase that really resonates with my own coaching style. He says: “You can never control outcomes, but you can always put yourself in the best position to succeed." This is genius, and the perfect mantra for elite performers. 



Goals Versus Desires

One of the most insightful things Gary said in our interview was about how high performers set goals. Gary differentiates between goals and desires. A goal is something you can accomplish on your own. A desire requires the help of others. When high performers set major achievements as goals rather than desires, they set themselves up for a frustrating experience.

Consider a defensive tackle in the NFL. If he sets "winning the Super Bowl" as a goal, he's attached his identity and emotional well-being to something he alone can’t control. But if he reframes it as a desire, then seeks help from his coach and teammates, he reduces pressure on himself, increasing the odds of actually winning the Super Bowl.



Optimism Beats Positivity

I asked Gary whether being positive is enough to improve performance. Gary's answer was refreshing. He said optimism, not positivity, is the fuel elite performers need. Positivity is a temporary emotional state. Optimism is a philosophy and provides sustainable energy.

At a recent coaching conference Gary attended, the word "positivity" was hardly mentioned among elite business leaders and athletes. What they discussed was optimism, and how it’s one of the anchors of success.



The Profound Power of "Who"

Perhaps the most moving moment of our interview came when Gary shared how he uncovers his clients' deepest motivations. He told the story of a defensive tackle who initially said he wanted to get faster on the field.

When Gary kept asking him why, the player eventually reached his bedrock reason. He wanted to buy his mom a house. The player got emotional and Gary knew that he had found a deep motivator that the player could tap into.

That's the power of finding your “who.” When you connect an elite performer's daily grind to a person they deeply care about, you've accessed the emotional fuel that carries them through adversity.



Overthinking Kills Performance

One of the biggest roadblocks Gary sees with his clients is overthinking. He uses the metaphor of thoughts being like calories. Similar to eating a big meal, a “heaping helping” of thoughts can make you lethargic and unfocused. Gary coaches his clients to go on a “thought diet” and move from analysis to action.



Identity-Based Performance

Rather than over-focusing on problems, Gary leverages his clients' existing strengths. This reinforces positive identity and self-image. Gary emphasized that this approach requires the coach to have genuine belief in the person you're coaching. You have to truly buy into your client’s strengths.



Even Coaches Need a Coach

Gary maintains a relationship with two foundational coaches, even as he travels and works with elite organizations worldwide. The best coaches recognize that elite performance requires practicing what you preach, and having his own coaches keeps Gary at the top of his game.



Final Thoughts

What struck me the most about Gary is his down-to-earth approach. He doesn't sell empty positivity. He embraces honesty and practical solutions.

In a world of noise and overthinking, Gary helps high performers focus on what matters: their deep reasons for playing the game, be it sports or business. If you focus on connecting to your purpose, and you work hard, success will come.

Learn more about Gary’s coaching at Elite Mindset Nation: www.elitemindsetnation.com